You’ve said to yourself, “That’s it!  I’m done, I’m really done this time!” You looked yourself in the eye and said, “No more complaining, no more yelling, no more fat foods,  no more drinking, no more hanging around with losers, no more procrastination, no more getting beat up by anyone, including myself, no more working myself into the grave, no more sabotaging my success, no more watching TV all night, blah, blah, blah!”  I have to admit, I have had similar conversations many times in the past.  Fortunately, in some areas, I truly am done, in others, I still need the self mastery tools I will be giving you here.

It took more than just looking myself in the face to get me to control my compulsive complaining, negative relationships, procrastination, just to name a few.  It took holding my feet to the fire.  Sometimes, it got very hot, but once I took the risk and did the healthy, functional, ethical, congruent, yes, even the courageous thing in my life, I walked away a champion in my own life.

• Giving up the struggle is part of the solution. Have you ever tried to get closer to someone by proving your point.  It is like tenaciously holding on to opposite ends of a rope and pulling the other person toward you.  Does it work?  No, she pulls harder than ever and the situation becomes ever more complex.  If you daringly put down the rope and walk toward the person, you will see new possibilities that can make you both winners.

• Challenging your tactics turns down the heat. Let’s say your challenge is procrastination.  Is procrastination the problem or are you feeling controlled by someone or something else and don’t want to admit it?  How can you take control of the situation without weakening your position in the marketplace or the home?  Asking different questions can bring new clarity and improve your ability to move forward toward your goal.  You can turn down the heat by choosing solutions that support the change you want to make instead of reinforcing the problem one more time.

• Win or lose, it’s up to you. How many of the people you admire achieved their goals by giving up?  They may have stumbled and fallen, but they held their feet to fire and kept going.  Thomas Edison said, “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try one more time.”  That comes from someone who failed over 100 times at creating the light bulb.  How many times have you failed so far?  I suspect you have a ways to go to compete with Mr. Edison.

There are plenty of people who have said, “I’m done!”  How many have evidence to support that proclamation?  How many have never achieved their goal of self mastery?  You don’t have to be one of them. Every problem has a solution built in.

I will be giving you ways to find your own solutions to your most complex and long standing problems.  Only you can hold your own feet to the fire.  Only you have the courage to do whatever it takes.  Then you will be able to say to yourself, “I’m really done!” and prove that you are. Read my next blog to learn some questions to ask yourself to get moving forward.

I love my life!  I hope you love your life, too!

Check out “About Renae” above and leave a comment below.  Let’s get acquainted.  I’m going to be around for a long time and hope you will, too.

Go to my website http://www.womenlovinglifeworldwide.com and receive “A Handbook For Women—Celebrate Your Strengths And Live Your Highest Purpose”.  I hope to see you soon.

Crash!  I didn’t want to look.  Nobody was hurt or I would have heard a scream.  Eleven month old Emma was in the living with her sisters, Camilla and Sarah.  I went to check on the damage before I realized that the only thing breakable and within reach was a beautiful marble statuary of a mother, father and child standing in a circle, all carved from one piece of stone.  My son had given it to me.  It was a one of a kind done in an African village–a beautiful treasure.

It was true!  Emma, who was standing by the coffee table where the statue had been, was being scolded by eleven year old Sarah.  Emma had no idea what the fuss was about.  I was speechless.  I didn’t know what to say.  For just one flash I was angry and then I realized I could have prevented the whole thing if I had been more attentive.  I felt like I had to say something but I didn’t want to leave a dreadful impression on the girls.  I said, “I am astonished.”  I said it again—and again—and again.  I couldn’t say anything else.

The girls were very quiet as Sarah gathered Emma in her arms and they all went downstairs.  I was astonished.  How quickly something of monetary and sentimental value can be destroyed!  I truly was astonished.

I picked up the pieces and took them to the kitchen.  I couldn’t take it to the garbage quite yet.  The girls had said it could be glued together, but, no.  It had been so smooth and flowing in its form.  Nothing could bring it back to that perfection.  I knew it.  It was gone.

By the time my daughter and her husband came home I managed to say, “Don’t worry.  It’s only a thing.”   They apologized and I took it to the garbage.

One crash and so many lessons.  I was tired and so was everyone else.  The wonderful family of six children had been with us for more than two days including Thanksgiving.  We had a great time together but I knew they were leaving in just about an hour.  I hid at the computer and told Sarah to take care of Emma.  She obeyed and played with her in the living room.

In retrospect, I am the adult, even the adoring grandmother.  Couldn’t I be attentive to their needs for one more hour?  Couldn’t I extend my patience and even just be with them for a few more minutes.   I wish I had.  They left soon enough and now I miss them all.

I truly was astonished that I didn’t feel worse about the statue than I did.  After all, it was very valuable–one of a kind.  I was astonished that I didn’t say something hurtful.  I didn’t do what I wish I had, but I didn’t do what I could have either.  They are very valuable–one of a kind.  I love them and now it will be easier to dust the table.

I love my life!  I hope you love your life, too!

Check out “About Renae” above and leave a comment below.  Le’s get acquainted.  I’m going to be around for a long time and hope you will, too.

Go to my website http://www.womenlovinglifeworldwide.com and receive “A Handbook For Women—Celebrate Your Strengths And Live Your Highest Purpose”.  I hope to see you soon.